Insecurities are a human condition, which is why I can say for certain that everyone experiences them. What we do with them and how they affect our lives is what makes the experience of an insecurity so individualized, and perceived as helpful or hurtful to our personal growth. Our human instinct is to be ashamed of something that we do not like about ourselves, and our society often encourages putting up facades in order to appear that we "have it all together."
Yes, I do not believe we will ever be insecurity free because insecurities are highly conditional. They are ongoing because we constantly evaluate our acceptance of ourselves and others' acceptance of ourselves. We cannot "beat" them or hide them long and fast enough before the next one appears. The duration of an insecure experience is only as long as the person allows it to remain and begin to affect other areas of their life. So how do we, paradoxically, become secure in our insecurities?
First, redefine how you perceive yourself and your insecurities or your state of being in-denial about them.
- Give yourself permission to be insecure. The facades go up the moment we go on the defense.
- Speak your insecurities out loud to yourself.
- Accept that insecurities are a part of life and everyone experiences them.
- Share your struggles with others you trust to be empathetic. As humans, we thrive in relationship, fellowship and community with others. The simple exchange of having your voice heard and hearing what others have to say is the way we connect and support one another. Avoid isolation. It never works.
- Serve others. Make peace with your insecurities by serving those around you. Similar to the first strategy, yet different, in that this is a selfless act of serving, with no expectation of your voice being heard. Serving others ALWAYS gives us perspective. We can then take that fresh perspective and reflect on how we feel blessed and thankful, despite our struggles.
- Get creative. Like a potter molding clay, mold your insecurity into inspiration. Why not harness your insecurity into something positive, advancing or impacting? Have you ever had an insecurity or a struggle that had propelled you to create something bigger and more beautiful than you ever thought possible? Be open to the idea that your insecurities are not perceptions to fear, but perceptions to channel into something wiser and bigger than was before.
I leave you today with a quote in which I hope you can realize that we all, at times, feel unfit, broken or weak in some area of our life. Don't let that stop you from creating the best you, that you are meant to be!
My God, I shall not waste time deploring my weakness or my unfitness for this work. - A.W. Tozer